My Pumping Journey

Disclaimer: Pro-breastfeeding Nazis can start navigating away now. This entry is going to raise the hackles on your back.

As with my firstborn, I was and still am on close (you will note the choice of words: 'close', not 'friendly') terms with the breast pump. Only difference is: while I was waking up at unholy hours of the night to pump during T's time, it was a significantly more chin chai affair with K.

There were very little pumping issues with T, very likely cos I latched him for about a week or so before my then confinement lady suggested that I pump out instead so that we are able to tell how much milk he was taking in. Perhaps due to the initial latching, milk supply was great and it kept up untill I had to stop pumping when I returned to work.

This time round, I had a lot of grief over supply levels and breastfeeding issues that cropped up (repeated blocked ducts and mastitis anyone?). At first, I couldn't come to terms with the crappy levels of milk I was producing when I had such great supply with T and was pretty upset about this. Was I doing something wrong? (Yes, I stopped latching K at a very early stage.) Does supply go down as you age? (Apparently not...) Can I do something to improve the situation? (Yes.)

Maybe it's a case of sour grapes. Maybe I am in denial. But I have made peace with the fact that I am never going to get the same supply I had in the past.

Unfortunately, I have also adopted a defeatist attitude. It is recommended that mums who are exclusively pumping milk do so every 2-3 hourly for at least 6 times on a daily basis. I personally disagree with this.

Case #1 - Unless you are lucky enough to have someone help out around the house, u will be permanently attached to the breast pump or kitchen sink. Add a screaming baby in the background while you are pumping or doing wash-up (yes, Murphy's Law will always happen) and you can imagine the levels of stress one will face.

Case #2 - The mum's body undergoes a traumatic experience during childbirth and IMHO, she is entitled to lots of rest while she is on ML. Even more so after she has finished confinement and is possibly taking care of the baby on her own on top of having to attend to daily household chores. Having to wake up in the wee hours of the morning or unearthly hours of the night is just punishing. Mothers are great but they need their sleep too.

I've got to say though, this second pregnancy/birth has unearthed many things I have never knew/encountered before - prenatal nose bleeds, blocked milk ducts, mastitis-induced chills, the works. While these are things to add on to my general knowledge, experiencing them are definitely not pleasant.

While I do want to feed K as much BM as possible, I will give what I can and forget what I cannot. In the words of a very wise friend when I was feeling low about this issue:

"Not giving breast milk doesn't make you a bad mother. There are many other ways to be a great one."